B.S. Productions - Gremlins Forest Hideaway

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B.S. Productions

Some graphics from
Minimations

Catch me if you can.

THE GOBLIN

There`s a goblin as green as a goblin can be.
Who is sitting outside and is waiting for me.
When he knocked on my door and said softly,
"Come play!"
I answered,"No thank you, now please,go away!"
But the goblin as green as a goblin can be.
Is still sitting outside and is waiting for me.

Q: Where did the goblin throw the football?
A: Over the ghoul line.
Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: Hoblin Goblin.
Q: Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q. What do you do with a green monster?
A. Put it in the sun until it ripens!
Q. What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?
A. A ghoul Yule!
Q.What do little monsters like to drink?
A. Ghoul-Aid!
Q. Where do most goblins live?
A. in North and South Scarolina.
Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!
Q. Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
A. Because he was always a goblin.
Q. What's a goblin's favorite flavor?
A. Lemon n' Slime.

The Bogeyman

In the desolate depths of a sinister place
The Bogeyman lurks with a snarl on his face.

Never dare, never dare
To approach his dark lair,
For he’s waiting, just waiting,
To get you.

He sulks in the shadows, relentless and wild
In his search for a tender, delectable child.

With his steely sharp claws
And his slavering jaws,
Oh, he’s waiting, just waiting,
To get you.

Many have entered his dreary domain,
But not even one has been heard from again.

They no doubt made a feast
For the butchering beast.
And he’s waiting, just waiting,
To get you.

In that sulfurous, sunless, and sinister place
He’ll crumple your bones in his bogey embrace.

Never, never go near
If you hold your life dear,
For, oh, what he’ll do,
When he gets you.

Your Neighbor Might Be A Witch If...

* You casually mention the moon's phase,
and she knows the exact number of days, hours, and minutes until the next full moon. 
* All the stray cats in the neighborhood
congregate in her garden.
* A black crow has chosen the lamppost
outside her house as it's favorite perch.
* She doesn't weed her garden or lawn.
In fact, it seems as if she is nurturing the weeds.
* Her clothesline has only black clothes on it.
* Local kids whisper as they pass her house,
and run away if they spot movement in the house or yard.
* Nobody trick-or-treats at her house because
her costumes are always scarier than any of the children's.
* There are footprints on the roof.
* The trees near her house look as
if they've been pruned for a flight-path. 
* She can't make a sandwich without adding fresh herbs to it.
* The tea she offers you is yellow-colored and smells like flowers.
* She never gets junk mail and when you ask her why,
and she confides that she just returns it to sender after writing something on it in strange curly script.
* When you drop in for a chat,
the coffee pot or tea kettle is already starting to perk.
* Jehovah's Witnesses never knock on her door.
* She keeps the local candle shop solvent.
* She has a pond out back full of frogs and you haven't seen that obnoxious storm-window salesman in a while.
* She is always smiling peacefully to herself.
* She went to a Halloween costume party dressed normally,
and won first prize.
* Her house always smells like incense and herbs.
* She has black cats with strange sounding names.
* She has a bumper-sticker on her car that reads,
"I brake for toads".
* She frequently gets questioned by the narcotics cops,
who confiscate large amounts of dried green leaves and always return them with apologies after laboratory analysis.
* At Christmas, it seems like half the garden is moved into the house.
* On full moon nights, you hear the sounds of chanting and the tinkling of small bells.
* You discover that the "realistic plastic" skull she affectionately calls "Christopher" in the living room is real. Didn't she say her most recent ex-lover's name was Christopher?
* You catch her washing a crystal ball along with the dishes.
* She wears a lot of silver jewelry,
even when she is weeding or changing the oil in the car.
* You knock on the door and she answers it
wearing only a black robe
* You apologize for interrupting her shower,
but you notice her hair isn't wet.
* She has a tendency to hum or chant quietly,
especially while outside in the garden.
* She has a tame raven that will eat from her hand in the garden.
* She never catches a cold, despite a tendency
to walk around barefoot often...even in the snow.
* She dooesn't kill spiders...not even the huge hairy ones.
* She has a lot of female friends that come around
once or twice a month. When you ask what they're up to,
she tells you they just have cake and ale and a nice chat.
* You catch her kissing a toad.
* She owns a custom made dinner set
decorated with bats or a "stars and moons" design.
* She has a mail-order account with
a semi-precious gems wholesaler.
* The priest who lives around the corner
always crosses himself when driving past her house.
* She never watches television...
but owns shelves full of books with
black spines and silver lettering.
* To your knowledge she has never set foot in the local church. You've even heard rumors that she's been barred from it.
* You ask to borrow a deck of cards for
an impromptu evening of pinochle, and there are 78 in the pack.
* You've never known her to go to a physician.
* When you chat, she maintains eye contact the whole time.
* Expectant mothers are always visiting.
* Women become expectant mothers a
short time after visiting and leaving with bags full of herbs.
* You ask for suggestions of nice paths to walk in the area,
and they all go by strange earth mounds,
oak groves, and stone circles.
* There aren't any clocks in the house and
most of the mirrors are black.
* She has a stone gargoyle near the garden gate
and she calls it her "guardian spirit".
* She tells you she's coming out of the broom closet,
and installs a stained-glass pentagram window in the front door.

Q: How is a werewolf like a computer?
A: They both have megabytes.
Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
A: A wash-and-werewolf.
Q: What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
A: Hallowieners.
Q: When do werewolf children stay home from school?
A: On a howl-iday
Q. Why was the werewolf arrested in the butchers shop?
A. He was chop-lifting.
Q. What happened when the werewolf chewed a bone for an hour?
A. When he got up he only had three legs.
Q. Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation?
A At the Howliday Inn!
Q. Where does the Wolfman live?
A. In a werehouse!
Q.What is a werewolf's favorite type of story?
A. A hairy tale!

Q: What do you call a skeleton who presses the door bell ?
A: A dead ringer
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.
Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body
Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.
Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.
Q: What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house?
A: Lazybones
Q: Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night ?
A: He was a numbskull !
Q. What's worse than a vampire with a toothache?
A skeleton with arthritis!
Q: How did skeletons send their letters in the old days?
A: By bony express!

Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A: They're good at keeping things under wraps
Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the dead sea
Q: Do mummies enjoy being mummies?
A: Of corpse!
Q: Where will you find cat mummies?
A: In a purr-amid
Q: Why don't mummies go on vacation?
A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind!
Q: What do you get if you cross a mummy with a vampire?
A: A flying bandage.
Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up
Q: What did the detective mummy say when he solved the case?
A: That about wraps it up!

Advise on How To Sleep Well on Halloween Night

The thing to remember when you go to bed
Is hang strings of garlic high over your head,
So werewolves and vampires won't come to call.
In fact you won't get many callers at all!
'Cause garlic is smelly, besides its success
With magical creatures who visit distress
On humans who read scarey stories at night,
And sleep in their bedrooms without a night-light.

The thing to remember when you go to bed
Is putting a cross at your foot and your head,
'Cause witches and vampires bats are religious
And touching a sign like a cross gives them hideous
Goosebumps and warts, hives, the welts and the itches,
Which nobody likes, even vampire bats and witches.
But try not to toss or turn in your bed!
If you kick off the crosses you're gonna wake the dead.

The thing to remember when you go to bed
Is watch out for goblins who munch on your head.
What stops them is water, so ask for a glass,
Then pour it around so the goblins can't pass.
Or else make a run for the bathroom and turn
On the hot and cold faucets and watch the goblins squirm.
As a last chance, since goblins all fear running streams,
If you don't own a bathroom, dream water-filled dreams.

So--that's my advise. Now just turn off the light
Hope you sleep well the next Halloween Night!!

Halloween Play Dough
You will need:
2 cups flour
1 cup salt
1 tablespoon cream of tartar
1 Tablespoon oil
2 cups water
2 drops red and 2 drops yellow food coloring
Directions:
Mix oil, water and food coloring in microwave safe bowl. Add remaining ingredients. Ask a grown up to microwave on high for 2 minutes. Stir. Microwave 45 seconds at a time, and stir each time until a ball forms and you are ready to play.

Halloween GAK - Slimy!
You will need:
2 cups white school glue
1 and 1/2 cups water
Food color of choice
1 teaspoon Borax (found in stores in the laundry section)
1/2 cup of water
Directions:
Mix glue, water, and food coloring until dissolved. Separately, dissolve the Borax and water and add to glue solution. You will get a very thick clump of slime where the two mix. With clean hands, knead the GAK for 10 minutes to get it to mix it well. If any gets on your clothes, run because your mom is going to ground you! Just kidding, dissolve it in water.

HAUNTED HOUSE
There`s a house upon the hilltop we will not go inside,
For that is where the witches live, Where ghosts and goblins hide.
Tonight they have their party, All the lights are burning bright,
But oh we will not go inside The haunted house tonight.
The demons there are whirling and the spirits swirl about.
They sing their songs to Halloween. "Come join the fun," they shout.
But we do not want to go there, so we run with all our might.
And oh we will not go inside The haunted house tonight.

At the top of a very steep hill
Is a very old house that is never still.
In the windows there are many eyes
You'll hear screams 'if you dare' to go by!
If you get as close as you possibly can
The front door will open, then it will slam!
The one who lives there has never been seen
Many say, "he is very, very mean".
Don't let him catch you...be as fast as you can
Or "you'll belong" to the ole boogeyman.

The house looks empty,
There's no one around.
There isn't a sight,
There isn't a sound.
In the darkness each year
I feel the same shame --
Having eaten the treats
before the kids came!

Be Aware while creeping through the forest there are creatures lurking in the shadows that want to rattle your bones. Pass your mouse over the creatures and hear them talk. Don't let them scare you off, there are terror-ific treats waiting for you ahead. Take caution this is not your mummys typical haunt. Next time you visit bring a fiend with you, no body should travel the forest alone.